


Glitches

by Melie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fun, Gen, Human Glitches, Humor, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 21:46:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11792115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melie/pseuds/Melie
Summary: In which Keishin surmises that the teenage brain is full of glitches, and presents his evidence.





	Glitches

**Author's Note:**

> The existence of this fic can be blamed on Foil Arms and Hog's video [Human Glitches](https://youtu.be/iEKA0GS2yic), which I've watched about five times already and never fails to make me laugh a lot.
> 
> One of the "glitches" really fitted two characters, and the idea only grew from then on. In the end almost no one was spared, because such is life.

Unlike a lot of people these days, Coach Ukai had absolutely no contempt for teenagers. He would not have been one to blame all the wrongs of the world on its youth. He did not even find working with high-schoolers specifically hard.

Sure, some days were more challenging than others. But at least it made for interesting stories.

It wasn't just Tanaka and Nishinoya's antics that had him in stitches (many hours later, and once they were all far, far away). Not just Kageyama and Hinata's perpetual state of “Let's Fight To The Death” either.

No, on top of all that, there were what he called "the glitches". Small moments that he kept to himself, delighted that he'd been able to witness them in their glorious ridiculousness.

Like the many times he heard Daichi walk up to Suga with a “How's it doing?” followed by “How're you going?” followed by intense embarassment on both parts.

Or the time Nishinoya barged in on the court, at the start of a practice match, exclaiming “LET'S SHOW THESE GUYS HOW WE PLAY BASKETBALL!!!” before the look of sheer panic on Hinata's face made him realise his mistake.

Or when Azumane froze for a good two minutes while trying to introduce Tanaka to some player from another team and failing to remember his name. (Tanaka never let him live it down).

Or even the following exchange between Kageyama and Hinata:

“Why can't you act like a sixteen-year-old for once!”

“I'M NOT SIXTEEN!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“... am I?”

There were many others.

Tsukki in the storage room, a frown on his face (“What are you doing here?” “I forgot”.)

Yamaguchi spending the best part of two minutes looking for the ball he was going to serve, only to realise that it had been in his hands all along.

Kageyama stealing three bites of Hinata's lunch before remembering that he actually hated that particular dish.

(Hinata accidentally hugging Kageyama in the heat of a match, but somehow Keishin was not sure he could count that one.)

Ennoshita walking into a door.

Tanaka running into the net when picking up stray balls at the end of practice (twice).

A good part of Hitoka's entire existence.

Or, just when everybody thought he was the only one keeping it together, Suga's “nice smile” to Daichi, instead of “nice serve” (that one may not have counted either).

After only a few months spent training them, Keishin thus became convinced that the teenage brain must be full of glitches. Nice, hilarious glitches that he could laugh out from the safety of his own adulthood.

Which is when two things happened.

First, he came to realise how many times he'd opened his own fridge before remembering that he wasn't even hungry.

Then, one afternoon, he was walking to the gym when he spotted Takeda ahead of him.

“Hey!” he exclaimed, running up to the teacher. “How's it doing? I mean, how're you going? I mean... hi.”

Ittetsu's sympathetic smile did not help the matter. Not one bit.

 


End file.
